Soccer- striker

A little boy with a big heart
MELANIE BURFORD/DMN
MELANIE BURFORD/DMN
Clayton Dabney 'always wanted us to help the other kids ... who didn't have their parents with them,' says his mother, Shelby Dabney (left). Along with her husband, Scott, and daughters Kate, 8, and Christina, 17, she helps make that possible through a foundation they established to help terminally ill children and their families.
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IN HONOR OF: Clayton Dabney of Highland Park, who died of rhabdomyosarcoma, a muscle tissue cancer, Sept. 6, 1995, at age 6.

MEMORIAL: The Clayton Dabney Foundation, a nationwide nonprofit created by his family to ease the financial burden on families of terminally ill children. It also helps fulfill children's wishes.

Clayton Dabney, who turned 6 in the hospital, inspired the foundation with the way he lived, says his mother, Shelby Dabney, 49, of Highland Park.

"He always wanted us to help the other kids on the floor who didn't have their parents with them. He wanted to share things that people were giving him. He was always asking questions like, 'Why does this little boy not have his parents?' And we would find out that his parents were juggling two jobs and couldn't take time off to be with their dying child."

The Clayton Dabney Foundation gives anonymously, preferring for the child to think of the gift as coming from the parents. Last year, it funded activities for nearly 200 families, with a maximum allowance of $2,000 per family, giving away close to $400,000 in all.

Mrs. Dabney, her husband, Scott, 49, and their children Michael, 20, Christina, 17, and Kate, 8, work on specific cases and help with fundraisers.

Clayton was diagnosed in February 1995 and died 61/2 months later.

"I'm so grateful that we found something that we were able to do that's making a difference," Mrs. Dabney says. "It makes you feel that there was a purpose, that his death was not in vain."
Doing what she loved to do

G.J. McCARTHY/DMN
G.J. McCARTHY/DMN
Tina Cradduck's family honors her by doing things she loved and celebrating what she would have celebrated.
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IN HONOR OF: Tina Cradduck of Dallas, who died of breast cancer Nov. 12, 2006, at 54.

MEMORIAL: Remembered by her family in everyday ways.

Other than a carefully tended grave site, the Cradducks don't have a memorial for Tina that you can touch or see. Instead, they act daily to keep her presence with them by doing things she loved and celebrating what she would have celebrated.

"It's important to toast her when we have family dinners and get-togethers," says her son, Chris, 30, of Dallas. "She loved a good glass of wine, so we try new wines for her."

The family goes to her favorite movie theater, and they call one another when they notice her favorite kind of weather.

"She loved those crisp, clear days when it's sunny and cloudless and almost blinding," her son says.

Not long after Chris announced his engagement in October 2006, he learned that his mother's health was deteriorating rapidly. Chris and his fiancée, Amber, were planning a wedding in an exotic location in May. But it was more important to have Tina at the wedding. With the help of Chris' sister Cari, they whipped up a ceremony and reception in three days in the back yard of Cari's home in Murphy.

Tina worried that the couple would feel they were being shortchanged, but Amber says she has never regretted it.

"It was a very special wedding," she says.

Tina attended in a wheelchair and lighted a unity candle with the help of her husband, Butch, 58. She took pictures and clapped, then she died peacefully the next morning.

"I miss her most when I want to call her and tell her about something," Chris says. "I almost dial the number before I remember she's not there. I have less of that sadness when we do something that I know she enjoys."